it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
