I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
