I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
