If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
