Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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