I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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