He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
