4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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