Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My liver just had a heart attack.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
