thus making me awesome and them whores
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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