some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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