i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We just shotgunned beers for America
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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