sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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