shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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