The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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