Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
