hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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