Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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