Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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