with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize