also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
