Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
