i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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