they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
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I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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