at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
