you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
