OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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