remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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