Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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