no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
