he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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