margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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