you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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