I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
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Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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