im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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