he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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