I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize