seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
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What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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