Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
