I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
