so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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