I'm drive I can fine osifer
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
