I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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