My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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