Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
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I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
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Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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