Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
