Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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