is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
