Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
