scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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