I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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