I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
