So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
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After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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