we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
