How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
