just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This couple is walking their pig around campus
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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