Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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