okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
