Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm eating all of the evidence.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
